Suffering from a mental illness can be quite hard, especially when very few people understand your emotions, thoughts and actions.
I don't want to use suffering from anxiety and depression as an excuse but I've found I find it very hard to be a "good" friend, girlfriend and daughter.
It's hard to explain to people that you don't understand why you're lashing out, that you don't want to talk, that you're not hungry and/or you just don't want to be around anyone. As I've gotten older I've found myself spending less time with friends, not picking up calls and not truly wanting to see anyone.
It's easier to fake emotions over text, to seem fine. I get tired of pretending but sometimes it feels necessary. Have you ever acted as though you were fine to make others feel comfortable? Yh I don't want to do that anymore.
I've told myself this is the year I choose me, I choose to be selfish and better myself. It's ok not to be ok, you don't have to be embarrassed about how you feel, you don't always have to have everything together. It is ok.
Do not let other people's views or opinions make you feel less than you are. The road seems long and recovery seems far but you'll get there!
There is light at the end of the tunnel.