Understanding Me





Suffering from a mental illness can be quite hard, especially when very few people understand your emotions, thoughts and actions.

I don't want to use suffering from anxiety and depression as an excuse but I've found I find it very hard to be a "good" friend, girlfriend and daughter. 

It's hard to explain to people that you don't understand why you're lashing out, that you don't want to talk, that you're not hungry and/or you just don't want to be around anyone. As I've gotten older I've found myself spending less time with friends, not picking up calls and not truly wanting to see anyone. 

It's easier to fake emotions over text, to seem fine. I get tired of pretending but sometimes it feels necessary. Have you ever acted as though you were fine to make others feel comfortable? Yh I don't want to do that anymore.

I've told myself this is the year I choose me, I choose to be selfish and better myself. It's ok not to be ok, you don't have to be embarrassed about how you feel, you don't always have to have everything together. It is ok. 

Do not let other people's views or opinions make you feel less than you are. The road seems long and recovery seems far but you'll get there! 

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

- Jacq




Comments

  1. I used to have strong! social anxiety until someone said to me "Dig it out" It sounds silly I know but looking back at it what he meant was 'Do you know it's root (cause)' and 'If you do, curse the root and pick it out' like weeds next seeds of wheat. So JacQ, mental illness just like social anxiety, is a trait which you DON'T have to possess. Do you know it's root? (What planned that illness and why?) Now that you have your answer and since you understand it's existence, only you can remove it. For good.

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    1. Hey Tan, thank you for your comment. Everything you've said is everything my mum always says to me. I am aware of the cause of it however,I guess I'm a little too chicken in a way. This year I don't want to be associated with anxiety like it can't sit with me.

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