Skip to main content

Motions


Yesterday was an amazing day I was very happy and I kept getting good news all day. However, I've noticed that today I woke up feeling emotionless. I'm not sad or happy I'm just me.

Does anyone feel like this after being happy? I feel like I'm unable to process the emotions that have been felt for the past few hours and that's crazy. I guess I've always been this way.

I hate feeling like I don't have any control over my emotions. I feel like I'm not in control of my self and that doesn't sit right with me. The mind is very powerful.

Nonetheless, I have had a productive day. I did laundry, cleaned my room and the flat and made sure I ate.

- Jacq

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Suicide Attempt Story

Last year I opened up for the first time about my suicide attempt a few years ago. Shortly after posting this video I attempted to commit suicide 2-3 times. I originally started making YouTube videos as a way to avoid thinking about my problems. This wasn't a good idea as I became extremely obsessed with finding ways to avoid thinking about my feelings. Once I had nothing to run to I became extremely depressed and hit rock bottom. I've never been someone to open up about my feelings which is usually why I go downhill so fast. I found that this video helped everyone but me.

I came up with a series on my channel called 'No Secrets' the series included personal stories about things I have experienced with mental health and also experiences which have caused me great pain. I decided to do this series as a way to help both me and others. Being someone who is so private it is so easy to let everything bottle up inside and I did not want to do that anymore. Some might ask w…

Scars To Your Beautiful

Over the Christmas period, I started to get a rash so bad that at first, it looked like hives. I have never had anything like this before so I was extremely worried. I first assumed it was an allergic reaction until a pharmacist informed me it was eczema. This shocked me as I don't have eczema and I have never had eczema before. For two weeks I was unable to get an appointment with my GP, it drove me crazy, I started googling everything I could find out about eczema and ways to treat it. The only thing that actually worked for me was coconut oil.

Eventually, I got an appointment with the GP and was told I didn't have eczema and in fact, it was just body acne. This conclusion still makes no sense as my rash looked nothing like body acne but nonetheless, the prescription the GP gave me has been working so far. So if any of my readers currently suffer from any form of acne I recommend talking to your GP about Duac cream.

Anyways, finally getting to the point of this post. I am n…

Understanding Me

Suffering from a mental illness can be quite hard, especially when very few people understand your emotions, thoughts and actions.

I don't want to use suffering from anxiety and depression as an excuse but I've found I find it very hard to be a "good" friend, girlfriend and daughter. 
It's hard to explain to people that you don't understand why you're lashing out, that you don't want to talk, that you're not hungry and/or you just don't want to be around anyone. As I've gotten older I've found myself spending less time with friends, not picking up calls and not truly wanting to see anyone. 
It's easier to fake emotions over text, to seem fine. I get tired of pretending but sometimes it feels necessary. Have you ever acted as though you were fine to make others feel comfortable? Yh I don't want to do that anymore.
I've told myself this is the year I choose me, I choose to be selfish and better myself. It's ok not to be …