Skip to main content

I Give Up



 


I've woke up today not really in the best of moods and feeling quite fed up.

There's a lot of things I am praying and hoping for in 2018. I guess sometimes things just feel as though they aren't going to work out the way you want them to. Like maybe there's no action behind the words. 

I don't even know if this makes any sense to anyone but I feel very discouraged. I just want to curl up and call it a day. I don't think I've got much fight left in me. My heart hurts so bad. 

I'm wishing for better days, praying for courage but everything looks so hopeless. How can I believe in better days if all I keep seeing is hurt, pain and suffering? How?

I'm sorry this isn't an inspirational post. I just need to voice how I'm feeling in this moment. 

- Jacq

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Scars To Your Beautiful

Over the Christmas period, I started to get a rash so bad that at first, it looked like hives. I have never had anything like this before so I was extremely worried. I first assumed it was an allergic reaction until a pharmacist informed me it was eczema. This shocked me as I don't have eczema and I have never had eczema before. For two weeks I was unable to get an appointment with my GP, it drove me crazy, I started googling everything I could find out about eczema and ways to treat it. The only thing that actually worked for me was coconut oil.

Eventually, I got an appointment with the GP and was told I didn't have eczema and in fact, it was just body acne. This conclusion still makes no sense as my rash looked nothing like body acne but nonetheless, the prescription the GP gave me has been working so far. So if any of my readers currently suffer from any form of acne I recommend talking to your GP about Duac cream.

Anyways, finally getting to the point of this post. I am n…

My Suicide Attempt Story

Last year I opened up for the first time about my suicide attempt a few years ago. Shortly after posting this video I attempted to commit suicide 2-3 times. I originally started making YouTube videos as a way to avoid thinking about my problems. This wasn't a good idea as I became extremely obsessed with finding ways to avoid thinking about my feelings. Once I had nothing to run to I became extremely depressed and hit rock bottom. I've never been someone to open up about my feelings which is usually why I go downhill so fast. I found that this video helped everyone but me.

I came up with a series on my channel called 'No Secrets' the series included personal stories about things I have experienced with mental health and also experiences which have caused me great pain. I decided to do this series as a way to help both me and others. Being someone who is so private it is so easy to let everything bottle up inside and I did not want to do that anymore. Some might ask w…

When life gives you lemons...

So today has been quite an upsetting day, I was supposed to get paid from work today however that never happened. My work place has also given me no response as to why I haven't been paid leaving me to feel very hopeless and frightened. Unable to pay my rent, buy groceries or pay my bills, I'm genuinely praying for a miracle.

Having anxiety makes situations like this very nerve wrecking, I went from being unable to sleep to feeling as though my mind and my body were in two different realms. Have you ever been in this situation before?

I have spent my whole entire day informing my landlord I won't be able to pay rent, chasing up my managers and also wanting to jumps out of a window. As you can tell I don't handle things very well. I am someone who truly enjoys planning and structure so when things don't go to plan I don't know how to handle myself or life. I really don't know what to do but I'm believing in God and I am praying he will make the imposs…